Saturday, December 22, 2007

2007 - some re-thinking and summing up

So 2007 is coming to an end and I guess it is a good time to reflect on this past year and it's events.

This year feels like 3 years have passed in one.


I was in Georgia visiting my parents for the first time in their new home. I also had a great time spending New Years with them in Atlanta. I also went to Montreal and checked out Concordia University for the first time before my final semester in Hartford started.

February - March

Despite having 2 jobs and classes I worked relentless on my BFA Senior Thesis. To complete everything before the Senior Show in April. I received my first Graduate School rejection letter. By the time Spring break came around I was completely burned out and escaped to Montreal for 10 days. Which was VERY necessary. When I returned from my escape I found out I was put on the Waiting list for Concordia.


Finalizing everything for the Senior Show and whohoo. the senior show. big excitement... and before we could turn around fast enough to realize what is happening it was over...


But nothing passed quicker than Graduation in May, even though the process of packing everything seemed to never end. Putting my life in storage was the strangest experience so far. Graduation was unreal, desperately needed and yet walking into completely unknown territory was scary. Right before I graduated I found out that I was accepted to Concordia and I felt like I was about to break down with exhaustion and became probably the most anti-social person. Everyone went out to celebrate and I sat at home packing and sleeping.

Working my last day at the Sportscenter where I had supervised for the past year was a strange goodbye as well.

May - August

After putting everything in Storage I left the U.S. and traveled to France via England, and stayed with my relatives there which was a very intense, eye-opening experience. Which turned more into a personal struggle than a vaccation. I learned a lot about myself as well as others during those 8 weeks of traveling. I also escaped to Barcelona for a while and loved it. I finished my trip with a couple of weeks with my Grandparents, Aunt and Uncle in Germany. I spent one weekend in Prag with my good old friend Veronika which was also a great experience.

Traveling is always great and I can't help but explore the world. But the entire time I just needed the security of my own home. The place that I would return to. That I didn't have yet.

Instead of moving up to Montreal right away I stayed 2 weeks with my parents in Georgia and then thanks to the help of my dad returned to Hartford, packed everything in a Uhaul and moved to Montreal. Sometime between my return to New York and my flight to Georgia I drove up to Montreal, found a lovely appartment with a lovely roommate.

So then I had finally arrived in one place... Finally no more traveling.

August - December

Well.. when you go study abroad they tell you that you are going to experience Culture Shock in one way or another. I experienced it when I first came to America, I experienced it again and again when I went back to Europe since. When I studied in Italy I never went through culture shock while I was there.. instead I had it 3 times as bad when I returned to the United States.

When I moved to Montreal, as an International Student.. yet again, I heard the same speech during the International Student Orientation this August...

"first you are going to go through an excited happy phase while you are exploring your new place. Then you will start to see differences and maybe even get sick or have problems communicating and it will upset you maybe even depress you. This is normal soon you are going to adapt and move on and be adjusted and feel better. Until you have to leave when the reverse culture shock will start everything all over again."

After experiencing this adjustment rollercoaster so many times I didn't think it would affect me at all anymore.

But it did. After dreaming of moving to Montreal that is such a perfect mix of two cultures... European and North American. Montreal is the embodyment of a struggle i have dealt with for almost 8 years now. I eventually got through the exciting phase and arrived at phase two. Which I struggled with for a long time. I was so depressed that I had no inspiration, no reason to get up the next morning. I have never felt so alone. Eventually a couple of people in my class decided to go to the printfair in New York. And who would have thought that a weekend trip to New York where I saw Fiona and Cornelia would change everything. But it did. It gave me all my energy back and I have enjoyed every second of being in Montreal since. Despite the arrival of Winter and cold and snow, life is good. Life has been good since and will continue to be good.... because I say so ;).

Inspiration has returned. I have opened up to much more experimentation. And I am enjoying myself in the printshop at Concordia.

I also am in constant letter exchange with my grandparents which makes me VERY happy. And I am definitely planing on continuing that.

There are many people I would like to thank for making so much possible this year. Those of you know exactly who you are. You guys were there for me this year and picked me up when I needed it. You guys kicked me in the butt when I couldn't get myself together. And you laughed at me when I couldn't laugh at myself. I am more grateful for the people I have in my life than I have ever been before. Thank you :).

For now, my goals for 2008.
- learn french to the point where I can communicate. I need to be able to speak it so that I can work in Montreal in the summer.
- have a Solo show
- find a part-time job or at least a fulltime summer job in Montreal
- take better care of the relationships with family and friends.


Racheal said...

xoxo it was a great year. i became closer with you, which pretty much rules.
who knows where '08 will lead but I'm excited for ya

Maria Doering said...

thank you racheal :)
it means a lot to me that we are keeping in touch so much!
Merry Christmas my dear!